Saying goodbye

I sat with mom last evening and let her know that we would be fine...that if this was her time, if God wanted her to come home,  we understood and we would be alright. She held me close and asked if the others knew..(I am the youngest of 7 children. 2 live out of state) I assured her they all did and asked her if she wanted us to have Kahyt and Mike to come home. She shook her head. A few minutes later, she asked me to help her pray, my brother John, was still there and I asked him to lead. He prayed and I whispered into her ear what he said.. she is pretty much totally deaf at this point...her hearing aids do her little good. After John left, my husband and I sat there, quietly, with her for several hours and let her rest. She slept deeply, then woke with a start and asked if 'they knew' and if the Dr was coming. We assured her everything was alright...it was time for her pain and anxiety meds...so we stayed with her till she fell back into slumber. I played some music as she rested...Glenn Miller, Frank Sinatra and Tony Bennett, she used to love  dancing....all the boys wanted to dance with her when she was younger and she and dad used to go dancing a lot too. I wish I had known her back then! I have only heard stories and I try to remind her of them so she can be in a happier place while she is in pain.  Now, this part is important....she was on the brink of death a year ago...we told her our goodbyes then too. We really did not think she was going to wake up.  But after several hard months, she pulled through. And that wasn't the first time...winter has always been hard on her since dad died. But she always snaps back. Going into it this time though, she was so weak, I'm not sure she has the strength to pull out, or the will?  All I can say, is I'm trying to let her know, that if it IS her time...we are ok. We'll be ok. She can go see the baby she lost when he was 5 months old, she can go be with dad and our brother that passed last April.  Other than doing what I am doing, I have no idea what else I should be doing. I've prayed, I cried my tears out a year ago, I don't have any left right now.  I'm sure I will when the time comes.  Till then, I pray some more, I hold her hand and assure her it's ok and I play some Glenn Miller for her.  Love you Mom 💞