Who am I?

I am, as my title suggests, a wife, a mother/grandmother and a daughter. I am also a sister, sister-in-law, mother-in-law, daughter-in-law, aunt, niece, cousin, neighbor and friend. However, I don't feel like I've done a very good job of any of these. its a long story, that's why I've chosen to blog about it.

This feeling didn't just start yesterday....as our girls were growing up  I thought I was doing a good job, doing the right thing by staying home with them and not sending them to day care. But in doing that, I short changed them of monetary things they think they should have been exposed to as kids.

As a wife, I didn't add to our household income, so now that it's time for my much better half to retire, I've not done much to make our financial status any stronger. I've had several part time jobs and owned several businesses but since I was able to use tax write offs, I've not even got all my points to benefit from social security. The plan is for me to get a job now to make up for that deficit however, I've been sick more than not this past year and a half, so that has been time wasted that I was supposed to be drawing a paycheck.

I don't get the chance to be the grandmother I really want to be...the oldest ones are teenagers and don't want anything to do with either of us, the middle one lives 3000 miles away and the two babies, 2&4 are in day care and when mom and dad are home, they want their time with them...what little time I do get with them, they are tired or sick I don't want to make this a spot where I can whine and complain...I just want to share my frustrations and look inward for ways to feel more complete as a wife, mother/grandmother and daughter....

Speaking of being a daughter...my mom is 8 weeks away from her 100th birthday and all I can do is pray to God that he not let her suffer and take her in her sleep. What kind of daughter prays for God to take her mother? She fell again this week and is in lots of pain...we don't know what to do to give her comfort...so I pray.