My pillar

You are my true north, my pillar of strength, my one true constant.
I don’t know how on earth I would survive without you. You’ve been with me through the birth of our children, death of my father, the death of your father, my favorite uncles, my very favorite brother, the near death then subsuquint death of my mom, the death and the family problems caused by the death of your own brother. Fights with our children, the disconnection and chastisement by our own grown children, the unfair treatment of several family members... everything!
Now, I have friends and classmates that are dying and it scares me to death ( no pun intended!) that you will leave me, unexpectedly! We’ve already had that scare once ( twice if you count me almost leaving you when you had your knee surgery and my gall bladder kicked out a boulder and shut my system down!) and I’m scared, I’m scared of being alone, I’m scared of what will happen to me. I’ll become a hermit or worse, I’ll want to die along side you. Which, to me, is the better option!
After all the years we’ve been together, the sentences we finish, the shared thoughts and dreams... I am no where near ready to lose you! We have so much more to do together! Don’t forget you still owe me a trip to Hawaii! We have to have a chance to live in the home we’ve been building together!
You! You are the one thing in life I can count on and I want to be able to count on you till we are well into our 80’s or 90’s! Please be there for me! I promise I’ll be there for you as long as you want me there by your side!
My love forever

Go with God

Mom finally let go and let God take care of her. I like to think it was my prayer with her that finally allowed her to let go. She said she was afraid to die, so I prayed with her and asked God to take care of her and to not let her be in pain. I reassured mom she was a good mother and that she did a good job raising us, she should be proud of her grown children. Let her know that we would all be alright if she joined our brother and the rest of her family in heaven. She felt at ease after that visit and it was the last time I saw my mom. She asked God to take her that week and he complied! He waited till she was in a deep sleep and carried her soul off to heaven. She never know of our brother, Larrys passing, so we try to imagine her surprise when he greets her at the gates of Heaven!  I thought I was taking it alright, but I keep breaking out in tears. I have a brief thought of running to the nursing home and visiting her or showing her a picture...telling her what happened over the weekend, then the tears flow! I know this too shall pass, but till then, I weep. I weep in sorrow, I weep in joy and I weep for no reason at all. One day the tears will dry up and I'll just have smiles when I think of her! Lord knows she left one heck of a large family behind to carry on her genes!  So, mom... go see Dad, David Lee, the baby you lost at 9 months old that none of us got to know, Larry, your mom and dad and all your 13 brothers and sisters AND their husbands and wives! You're not alone! You have everyone there to take your hand now and we have your memories. With All the love a daughter could have,  Bobbie