Left Behind

 i often wonder

When driving around, wandering

Who lived in that house

That one that stands abandoned, alone in the woods

Was this a house built by a loving family

One board at a time, added onto as the 

Family grew?

How many families, how many children jumped rope and played here

Had a swing in the tree out back?

Oh if only the walls remaining

Could tell the stories it held so dear

If only it could tell the secrets of

All the families that had once lived here

The barn that once held ship, pigs and cattle. 

Once upon a time three may have been a house and buggy inside those walls

The big majestic barn

That was larger than the house

Had a hay loft where children played hide and seek

The same hayloft where a young girl got her first peck on the cheek

Now stands empty

With holes in the roof

Walls barely standing 

Once so strong it could withstand anything Mother Nature would throw at it

And now so worn out and weathered by those same storms, looking like a gentle breeze could take it down any day

That barn over there, the one that used to be so strong

Now half fallen down, just waiting for a strong wind to come along

And let it rest, let it go...where old barns go 

The secrets and pain we hide from each other.

Our life on social media is so perfect. The perfect meals we eat, the perfect places we go, our ‘perfect children’ and the ‘oh so many friends’ we ‘talk’ to. If only all those friends knew of the pain and fears we were hiding, the lies or half truths we share. But we only share what they want to hear. We don’t tell them about the negatives in our lives, we let them believe our lives are all about puppy dogs and roses.
Why is this? Why are we afraid to be ‘imperfect’ in the eyes of what we consider our closets friends?  We share recipes but not life stories. Social media is a door to hide behind and pretend everything is fantastically wonderful. When our friends see us, they only know half the truth of our stories, the half we are willing to share. It’s no wonder so many people are living a depressed life, living in a fog..not knowing why their lives aren’t as good as everyone else’s. We’ve been taught not to air our dirty laundry, but is ALL the truth really ‘dirty laundry’?  Why not let friends know we are hurting...share our true stories and get the support we need? Is that such a bad thing? Aren’t we supposed to be there for each other? For some, social media is their only form of contact with others. Many live a sheltered life, whether by choice or by fear. Fear of getting to know and love someone, allowing someone into their lives. What happened to kindred spirits and BFFs ?  Many people go days on end without speaking with another person, unless it’s at or about work, or possibly ordering a meal.even at the grocery, there is little to no human interaction. Texting is the new form of communication...how long do you go without actually picking up the phone and calling a loved one?
Our world has become this tiny little bubble that exists on this huge blue/green-earth. Loneliness in the midst of millions.

I love you.... to the bone

I love you... a million times over the day, we say those three little words, we say it SO much. you'd think they would lose their value--like 'wait till your father gets home' ! But they don't, they sink in deeper each time we hear them, they absorb the chatter of the every day and dissolve the external noises we hear throughout the day,  every thought is gone, they rest on the surface & wrap us in the warmth yet they sink to the deepest part of our heat and soul and make us feel needed, cared for and loved. every single cell of mine loved by every single cell of yours  and every single cell of yours loved by every single cell of mine. I love you a million times a million.  

Living with chronic pain

If you live with Chronic pain, you learn how to lie... a lot! People ask how you are doing, you answer 'fine' 'no problems' etc. and you learn how to make people believe that answer. You know by their response they don't really want to hear that you hurt... or that they think you are just 'playing it up' and begging for attention. Some even think you're a 'hypochondriac'.  So you lie.
Sometimes you try to believe that answer yourself. But YOU KNOW, you know it's a lie. Sometimes, those closest to you know, they can see through the glaze in your eyes, and they just know. Most of the time, they learn not to ask, just to try to make your day little easier.
SO if you know someone living in chronic pain... sometimes it's better NOT to ask, you probably won't get a straight answer! Just try to make their day easier... a little bit better... by not making them lie to you. Try saying something positive, like 'you look great today, you must be doing something right!' or... 'those new meds must be helping.... you seem a little lighter on your feet today'. Something to boost their ego, if this IS a bad day.... this MIGHT be the only positive thing their brain hears today!  I live in chronic pain.
Today, is better than yesterday... AND THAT is NOT a lie!